Jyväskylän yliopiston kirjaston hullut päivät

Olipa kerran tänään noin kaksi tuntia sitten tuokio jona päätin tallustaa yliopiston kirjastolle. Päivän teema on "kirjadyykkaus", eli jaossa on tonneittain ilmaista kirjallisuutta. Moraalikrapulaa lievittääkseni puran hankintani kirjalliseen muotoon kaikkien nähtäväksi. Teen myöhemmin tarkemman listauksen auttamaan kirjahyllyn uudelleenkoristelussa.

• Rationality and Society vol. 5 .no. 2 - Special Issue: Emotions and Rational Choice
  
• Child Language
  
• Computers and Classroom Culture
  
• Early Language Intervention
  
• English Syntactic Structures
  
• English Syntactic Structures - Workbook
  
• Language Teaching and the Microcomputer
  
• Literacy Acquisition
  
• Semantic Theory
  
• Steps to Language
  
• The Computer Revolution in Education
  
• The Development of Communication
  
• The Incompetent Teacher
  
• Translation Studies
  
• Energy and Power
  
• The Biosphere
  
• Saldo
  
• Tuhat Aastat
  
• Tunne Kelam
  
• Evolution and the Humanities
  
• The XML Companion
  
• A Place Apart
  
• How Americans Use Time
  
• Introduction to Qualitative Research Methods
  
• Life-Span Communication
  
• Listening Behaviour
  
• The Many Faces of Play
  
• The Social Animal
• Western Sexuality
• The Problems of Work
• Dianetik

Tapahtuma jatkuu iltakahdeksaan, joten hulluus ei välttämättä pääty tähän.

Kieli suomi, mieli puoli

Kuuntelin juuri otetta radio-ohjelmasta jossa haastateltiin apologisti-extraordinaire Ray Comfortia. Comfort on nyt kiertueella uuden kirjansa kunniaksi ("Voit johdattaa ateistin todistusaineiston ääreen, mutta et voi pakottaa häntä ajattelemaan: Vastauksia äksyille skeptikoille") ja on esiintynyt useissa radiohaastatteluissa. Tämä on hänen vastaiskunsa Darwinin juhlistamista vastaan.

Ray ei sano näissä mitään typeryyksiä mitä ei ennen olisi kuultu, mutta juontaja oli selvittänyt Darwinistien juonen perinpohjaisesti. Hänen teoriansa mukaan yliopisto-opettajat opettavat darwinismia, jotta nuoret tytöt saavat päähänsä että he ovat vain eläimiä ja voivat täten tehdä mitä huvittaa. Näin opettajat varmistavat itselleen messevät orgiat.

En muista mikä ohjelma oli, enkä välitä. Toivoisin etten muistaisi kuka Ray on, enkä välittäisi.

29 leukaa perjantain treenisessiolla! Jee! Nyt menen ajamaan toisen jalkani jotta voin taas kuvitella nukkuvani kultamurun vierellä...

Week 1

So the schedule didn't quite hold, as I did Tuesday's pull-up sets on Wednesday, but nevertheless, Here's this week's chart:



Day 1:
Morning push-ups: 41 + 38 + 51 = 130
A good start taking into account my low expectations. The first thought that occurred to me after this session was that I just might try and get up to 100 consecutive push-ups too (another goal I've had for some time).
Pull-ups: 6 + 5 + 4 + 4 + 4 = 23
On day 1, the program prescribes 5 max repeat sets of pull-ups with a 90 second pause between each. The results were mediocre as I had predicted.

Day 2:
Morning push-ups: 45 + 55 + 50 = 150
Huzzah, improvement!
Pull-ups: 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 1 + 3 = 19
For this pull-up session, I was at the swimming hall gym. I did some light warm-ups beforehand and went at it. The results perfectly matched my expectations. The pull-ups were done in a pyramid patter (first 1, then 2, then 3...) until failure, followed by a single max rep set.

Day 3:
Morning push-ups: 50 + 44 + 41 = 135
Boo, hiss...
Pull-ups: 6 + 6 + 6 = 18
Now the concept of the training set kicked in. The training set is a predetermined amount of pull-ups that you think you can repeat several times in a row. For this first week, I set my training set at a lowly 2. Thus, this day's sets consisted of 3 x 2 pull-ups, followed by 3 x 2 chin-ups and finishing with 3 x 2 pull-ups. The set wasn't too easy because I let myself down into a dead hang between each repeat. I'm still considering if I should raise the training set to 3 for the next week.

Day 4:
Morning push-ups: 41 + 43 + 25 = 109
Even worse! I let my mind wander during the last set and set down my knee for some weird reason.
Pull-ups: 32 * 2 + 1= 64
Done at the university gymnastics room, on several different bars and things you can hang from (rings, ledges). Today the task was to do as many training sets as possible, resting for 60 seconds between each. I didn't count the seconds exactly, but I was at it for about 30 minutes. I could've done more (at least a couple of sets), I'm sure, but the other activities at the gym enticed me to retire early. Apparently, the best environment for these sets is away from any interesting diversions. Again, I started from a dead hang on each pull-up.

Day 5:
Morning push-ups: 51 + 45 + 41 = 137
Again, the last set was cut short. Yargh!
Pull-ups: 8 + 5 + 5 + 3 + 5 = 26
On day 5, you're supposed to repeat the pull-up session from the previous week that you felt to be the toughest. I chose day 1, and improved on the previous result by 3 pull-ups. Improvement ahoy? Oh, and I did these on Wednesday, bah.

The real fun starts later when I start comparing the results from following weeks. I'm also trying to practice my handstands again, and have gained some extra stability during the last week. Handstand push-ups are also getting close to being a reality.

Aural Pareidolia with Michael Shermer

Mission Statement: Upper Body Training

I've let myself go bad. Sitting in front of the computer, slouched over, has taken its toll on my upper body strength. During the next 6 weeks I will be submitting myself to a light regimen of push-ups and pull-ups (plus chin-ups), by following the 20 Pull-ups Program.

Starting today, Friday 13th. It can only get better from here, right?

The program will basically consist of 5 days of training per week, with morning push-ups (3 sets) and a day-specific pull-up exercise later in the afternoon.

I though I couldn't do a single set of over 25 push-ups, but positively surprised myself by starting the regimen out with a three-set push-up session that yielded a total of 130 push-ups when I really put my back into into. Pull-up results are still pending as I haven't yet gone out to the bar. Wait, there's a lame pun in there somewhere...

Updates will be posted at the end of every training week. Instead of the traditional Monday-to-Friday schedule, I opted to go from Friday-to-Tuesday, so I'll be back here on Tuesday for an update pertaining to my progress (or regress).

Hot Clitoris Excision Action Tuesday!

Surfing the web is the strangest experience.

I was reading a blog post about moral relativism and it's pitfalls and ran across the word "clitoridectomy". Having the attention span of a hyperactive housefly I detached myself from the ceiling and hovered in a circle, wondering if this word is correctly spelled, since I've known the procedure as "clitorectomy" so far.

The word clitoridectomy (and its widely used sister, clitorectomy) are formed by adding the suffix -ectomy (from greek, roughly translated as "to cut out") to clitoris (if you don't know what this is, ask a girl – if she doesn't know, consult an anatomy textbook together*).

The Oxford English Dictionary only acknowledges clitoridectomy, but a quick Google search reveals that clitorectomy is also very widely used and accepted. The use of the non-canon (yes, I am OED's bitch**) shorter version is rarer, but still surprisingly widely used in technical papers.

The form clitorectomy comes more naturally to me, as this particular suffix is familiar from other words using it and many of these words only omit letters, not add or replace them (as the unexplained-to-me d in clitoridectomy. The suffix is also familiar to humor connoisseurs, as it can be used to form useful words such as humorectomy. As in, "unfortunately I didn't know I'd be writing to a blog read by people who have undergone complete humorectomy".

The thing that inspired me to blog about this was the site that popped up when I initially searched for clitoridectomy. I accidentally typed the word into Safari's address bar, not the search bar, prompting Safari to look for clitoridectomy.com.

I am so overwhelmingly conflicted by this. "Clitoridectomy, your first stop on your hot Web journey." Whisky Tango Foxtrot. I rest my case: the internet is insane.

Right, back to reading that moral relativism stuff.

*dating tips delivered free of charge
** unfunny jokes .50€  per piece, please donate total sum to a fund fighting against forced clitoridectomy

Odd Predickament

Quicksilver is the single most useful application I've ever had on any computer. At face value, it's a simple launcher that allows you to fire up any application using keyboard shortcuts. If you're a Mac user, it's a lot like Spotlight, but infinitely more customizable and, with the right skin, sexy.

Sweeping fanboyism aside, I found this humorous. And kind of creepy. I was attempting to launch my Dictionary application, but instead of typing in the traditional "dic" shortcut, an extra "k" snuck in. Make of this slip what you will, I was surprised at what Quicksilver suggested I might be looking for:

I have since uninstalled the Safari plug-in from Quicksilver, not wanting to get into trouble with the authorities. Also, to be safe, I changed the name of my dictionary program to "Cocktionary" to avoid further confusion.

Pimp My MB!

Taking my MacBook in to be fixed up with a new (free) HD, I was offered the opportunity of replacing the keyboard casing for no additional charge. The casing has a design flaw that resulted in it cracking if you slam down the lid too hard, so the replacement procedure was also covered by the original guarantee.

Some days later, I was roaming around town, knowing that the computer would be available for me to take home in a matter of minutes, and received a call from the store. Apple had sent in the wrong spare part: instead of the light grey keyboard casing for my white MB, they sent a black one. I was told that it would unfortunately take an additional day for the correct part to arrive.

I objected, not in a serious tone but half in jest, that they should bolt on the black casing and let me have the computer right away. Being answered with a rather amused "why not", I said I'd traipse into the store to see how it would look. It looked good. Some clerks gathered around to positively comment on the rather unorthodox looking Mac, and without further thought I asked them to pack it up to go. Result (the pictures are low quality and don't really do justice to the proper item):

Later, I googled the Internet Machine Space for similar configurations, and found out that what I have is actually called a "Panda" MacBook by some. Superficial MacBook modding seems to be rather popular amongst enthusiasts, but my mod is special – it's the result of serendipity.

Stressing Out...

After one year and a quarter I've finally managed to run into problems with my MacBook. Random I/O errors seem to corrupt files and hamper performance, and the problem has spread to crashing some apps (Safari and Skype commit suicide within seconds).

I'm going through the final check-up to see that I've backed up everything useful, I've verified the functionality of iTunes, iPhoto and other backups using a new account just to be sure, and am basically overstressing myself over a simple procedure. The only danger is that my external drive decides to fry itself during this operation, which isn't too likely. Is it? I want to make more backups...

5 minutes from now, I'll be replacing all data on my MacBook hard drive with zeroes in an attempt to correct the issue. If that doesn't work, I'm forced to hand in my 'Book to the geniuses at the local shop. I'm hoping the problem is related to the HD, since if it is, I was promised an extended warranty period that would allow a free replacement HD. The original warranty expired around 3 months ago! Groovy. Of course, in an ideal situation, the format will get rid of the problem and I'll be back to high-speed surfing after hot, steamy po... pointless discussions on the existence of imaginary deities and such.

Magical Movie Experience: Generic Vampire Ninja Movie

I'm not sure if this movie is really that bad or not, but decided to blog about it anyway. I got on it halfway through and was drawn in by ham-fisted acting, overdone action sequences and an excess of people snarling at each other. I still haven't seen all of it, but took quick screen captures to sum up the movie in a couple of seconds. There are some things I noticed I'd like to address in depth, though. I actually only learned the title of the movie as I was taking these screens. It's "Vampires: The Turning". As in "You will want to turn your TV off" or "You'd better turn away now" or "Turn away from your sins or you will go to Hell where you'll be forced to watch this movie over and over and over again".


I initially jumped right in on the action during a stupidly extended motorcycle chase, around halfway through the movie. From this tour de force of continuity inconsistencies and stupid stunts I learned that if you want to escape a motley crew of vicious vampirous assailants chasing you on motorcycles, just do a 180-degree turn and run your vehicle through the pack without flinching. They're totally not expecting that, that's why it works!

So we get some vampires exploring the vegetarian lifestyle as they dive headfirst into fruit stands at a marketplace as a result of stunts that have painfully obvious set-ups, some bite the road, others an assortment of lumber. Hum-drum chase scene altogether. Until someone had the bright idea to Woo-up the sequence.

"Animals were hurt in the making of this movie"

Towards the end of this chase, in a transparently blatant attempt to inject some Woo into the movie, the makers decided to hide an assistant behind some crates to release a miniature flock of birds to fly across the scene as the motorcycles whizz by at breakneck speed. A classic action movie cliche, perhaps a well-meaning homage. Nothing to write home (or to a blog) about, until someone loses a beak. I'll gracefully sidestep the obvious breakneck pun and simply extend my condolences to the family of Thaddeus H. Twirp the Third. May you rest peacefully in the dank warehouse these idiots probably left you to die in.

Very shortly after the moment of collision (just a few frames) the action cuts to a different room in the warehouse. Why did they leave this disturbing half a second in the movie? The sequence would not have suffered if the collision had been cut out. I actually later fast forwarded to the end of the credits to see if they might have included the token "No animals were harmed during the making of this movie". Luckily, no, since that would have been a blatant lie.

Secrets of Our Sanguinary Friends

Chase scene ends in an exploding vampire as the sun comes up. Good guys hatch up plan to defeat evil dudes, some third party is also involved, backs will potentially be stabbed. Cue the final, climactic action sequence with ridiculous wire-assisted floaty bits. Kick, punch, it's all in the mind. Over-choreographed tripe. I wasn't really paying attention, as I periodically visited the kitchen to check out if the oven was ready for the bread I was making. One stunt just happened to catch my eye as I carelessly took a gander at the on-screen pandemonium.

A random, expendable, evil vampire guy gracefully eats some foot from a good guy exhibiting the traditional "whirling dervish spinaroo" fighting style, and embarks on an exciting journey down a 2 meter deep trench. Thank you for flying Gravity airlines, next stop, Rock Bottom! On his way down he makes a halfway stop at an opening, where he decisively drives his ribs into a sharp corner, effectively pulverizing most of them. Of course, vampires have awesome regenerative powers and a high tolerance for pain, so he'll most likely be okay and back in action in no time. But, what's this! Oh, my...

It all makes sense now! For so long I've wondered why most recent vampire movies contain excessive amount of hand-to-hand and foot-to-face combat! It appears that you can literally knock the vampire out of someone if you hit them hard enough. It appears a hard enough knock can make them pop out their dangerously overgrown fangs. Perhaps an extended beating will get the blood running and even cure their pale complexion. Most of our contemporary vampire hunters should be informed of this, lest they kill any more people who could be saved!

Also, I helpfully highlighted another nifty little detail in the animation above: DO NOT BUY LADDERS FROM THAILAND!

Oookkay, right, so, some kind of horseplay from a group of vampire hunters who start killing the good guys (who are also vampires), then the main character dude uses a dying vampire chick as a grenade to blow the leader of the vampire hunters to smithereens. Finally he finds his kidnapped girlfriend and they're now both vampires and I need to get out more.

This movie, as much I've seen of it, was almost as painful as reading Ray Comfort's blog. On second thought, and in light of the recent content published on said blog, I rescind that statement. This movie only equals being stripped naked, thrown at by an assortment of cacti, having your eyes dug out with a spoon, getting rolled down a rough, steep cliff with razorblades embedded into its face and eventually landing in a wading pool filled with iodine where a clown throws a pie of acid on your face. Comfort's blog is way, way worse.